Thanks for stopping by and going through this lesson with me.  Half of all marriages end in divorce.  One main reason is that the foundation was not solid.  In this lesson I will bring out some ways that you can strengthen your marriage and build a healthier and stronger relationship with the one you love.  If you are having troubles right now, don’t despair, there is help and hope for a lasting and exciting relationship.  Many people have gone down the road of relationship troubles and have found the answers they needed to strengthen their foundation.  Having said this, let’s get started.


The Foundation is Important


If you are married, even if you aren’t, it is important that your personal relationships are built on a solid foundation.  In fact, that’s exactly what Paul the apostle said in his command to edify.  Well, he didn’t say that exactly but he did.


“Even so ye, forasmuch as ye are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek that ye may excel to the edifying of the church.” 1 Cor. 14:12 (KJV)


Edifying is building something up as in architecture.  If you are going to build something that will last you must have a plan.  Part of that plan and an important one is the foundation.  The word foundation means to set something permanently.  Today the accepted material is concrete.  Stone would be even better.  The larger the stone the better the foundation.  I’m sure all of us have seen pictures of ancient walls, castles and other buildings that still stand today.  Obviously they had a good foundations of stone that have lasted for many seasons and generations.  In our relationships, what is needed more than anything is a good solid foundation.  The material we need can be found in the word edify.


 “… seek that ye may excel to the edifying”… 1 Cor. 14:12 (KJV)


When we excel at something it simply means we are good at it because we have practiced.  Strong relationships take time, effort and practice.  The effort needed to strengthen any relationship is edification.  What I mean by edify is simple.  When you seek to edify someone you build them up by building on their strengths and helping to strengthen them in areas in which they are weak.  We all have our strong and weak points.  When we build on these instead of tearing down, we are edifying. 


Question #1  Do you find yourself finding fault with others instead of seeing the good in them?


Tearing Down Comes Naturally


It is human nature to find fault with others.  We tend to see the bad rather than the good qualities.  Edifying counters this and sets the stage for success while on the other hand tearing down almost always guarantees defeat.  I have seen many cases of divorce and virtually all of them were the result of someone tearing down the other. 


“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;” Ephes. 4:2 (KJV) 


There is a reason why the Apostle Paul told the Ephesians to treat each other this way.  The reason is, we don’t do it naturally.  He starts out by defining certain attitudes.  Longsuffering is another word for patience and forbearing can be defined as putting up with.  He finishes by giving us the strong foundation for any relationship, love.  This means that building up your realtionships will cost you something. 


I have heard recently a well known person in America state that in marriage the most important thing is to make yourself happy first.  I couldn’t disagree more.  I understand why it is the prevailing thought, it comes naturally.  In fact, some feel that commitment in relationships is the same as giving up certain rights of freedom.  True freedom however comes when we make commitments.  Think about it for minute.  If you went to work tommorrow and told your employer that you will not be committed to them any longer, you want to be free.  You tell your employer, “I will come in when I want to and you will give me the same benefits and salary that I have always had.”  Sound good?  Think it will work?  I though so. 


You see, the freedom to buy a home, car or have dinner with your wife and many other things is actually set on a solid foundation when you make a commitment to your job.  Selflessness (giving ) is the only way to receive.  It is the only way to true freedom.


Question #2 Can you explain why tearing down others is not productive ?


Giving, a Better Way.


“…and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.” 1 Cor. 12:31 (KJV) 


Would you like to have a happy marriage relationship?  Do you feel like your relationship is a constant tug of war?  There is a way out!  Let go of your end of the rope.  I know this sounds simple and in truth it really is! 


“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:38 (KJV) 


Jesus simply said GIVE.  He didn’t put any attachments to this statement he just said, “give”.  When we change from tearing down to building up, something happens.  We start receiving.  Once you see this in action it gets exciting.  When you see the power of giving it will change your life forever.  You will not see your relationship commitment as a prison but a place of freedom.  There is nothing like loving and being loved in return.  If this is what you are looking for then I want to encourage you, begin to give and this will become a reality. 


Question #3  Can you see the powerful benefits of giving to others selflessly.


The Power to Love Others.


“… because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Romans 5:5 (KJV) 


The only place we can find the power to be selfless is in Jesus Christ and HIS Spirit.  When he comes in with his eternal love, something changes in us.  We become selfless and giving becomes easier.


“But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you…” Acts 1:8 (KJV) 


Jesus changes us not from the outside, but from the inside.  When his Spirit comes in he begins to work on our attitudes and way of thinking.  No longer do we look at what we want, we look at ways to give and edify others.  This can and will be life changing.  The disciples of Jesus experienced this love of God on the first day of the New Testament church. 


“And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. [2] And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. [3] And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. [4] And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” Acts 2:1-4 (KJV) 


They were set free by this powerful experience.  The good news is you can have it also!


“For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.” Acts 2:39 (KJV) 


Start today by asking Jesus Christ to come in through the power of his Spirit.  Then let him teach you how to love and give when everything else tells you to tear down.  You will be glad you did.


Question #4  Have you received the power of Gods’ Spirit?  If not, would you like to? 




Giving is better than taking.  Love is better than lust.  Living for others is better than living for yourself.  Why not start doing it right today.  Let go of the rope and you may find things getting better soon.  Seek to edify others by building them up and you will receive back the love you are looking for. 


If you would like help please feel free to let us know and we will get in touch with you as soon as possible. Your comments are very important.  You can do this by clicking here.  If you have a friend that would benefit from this lesson, let them know!  I pray your life will be enhanced by what you have learned.  Oh yes, there is another lesson titled “Communication the Foundation of Relationships” that you may be interested in.  May God richly bless you.




Greg Wirths


Focus on Freedom

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      Focus on Freedom

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